"You Never Told Me to Turn Off the Water!!!!!!"

Updated:

Forget me being Bob Vila, I just checked the toilet, and it's still leaking. I shut off the water... sad day for me.
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Eventful night!!!!! I am now an amateur plumber! Yes. You read that right. Me, Miss Priss, got a screwdriver and wrench and fixed a toilet. I came home and H said that the toilet was dripping. I admit, at first I did not believe her because she said the shower was leaking yesterday and there was no leak. So I go to the bathroom and low and behold, there's water dripping. I yelled "oh crap." Immediately, I thought back to the days of being an active duty Air Force family when everything went wrong whenever dad went out of town- stitches, cats being run over, dogs disappearing, toilets breaking, mice dying... flashback city! So I say, of course this would happen!

I get the cell phone out and call dad. Conversation:

Me: "The toilet's leaking water!"
Dad: "Ok, get the wrench from downstairs and tighten it. The kids have most likely been climbing up it."
What are they climbing to get? I'm thinking.
Me: "Ok, will do, I'll call you back."

A few minutes pass...

Dad: "Hello?"

Me: "There's water gushing out of the toilet!!!!" Ok, not gushing, but it was flowing...

Dad: "What do you mean?"

Me: "I have a freaking pond on the floor!!! Mom!!! Get me the throw up bucket!!!"

Dad: "A pond?!? You turned off the water didn't you?!"

Me: "No! I didn't turn off the water, you said get the wrench, twist, and I'm golden! You never said turn off the water off!"

Dad: "What about the screw in the tank? You tightened that, right?" DABFLABBIT WHAT SCREW IN THE TOILET?!!?!?!?!?!?

Me: "No, you never said turn off the water, never said tighten the screw... MOM GET ME A SCREWDRIVER!!!!"

Dad: "Ok, drain the water out of the tank. Then tighten the screw."

Me: "Oh gross, I have toilet water in my hair."

Dad: "It's just water."

Me: "Dad, did you forget who you're talking to? I don't normally use screwdriver and wrench and pipes in my vocabulary. I'm a priss."

A few minutes later, I tightened, twisted, took a few breaths, mopped up the mess... and am now certified to be an amateur plumber. Thank you.

Oh, and I did go to class. And got peanut M&Ms out of the vending machine to tame my chocolate craving.

Ahem. That's all.

C.A.

I'm thinking about starting a group called Chocoholics Anonymous. I've had this craving for chocolate nonstop lately. I keep looking at my tin that has no more milk chocolate in it and feeling sad. Why? No more straight up chocolate.

The only thing helping me is a) watching Ina's "Barefoot Contessa" episode that is only chocolate right now and b) going on my sister's field trip tomorrow to Chocolate Crocodile (oh you know.)

If y'all know me, you aren't surprised. I love chocolate. Just a lot lately. Who knows why. I'm trying to get my lazy butt up off the couch to get ready for class. So far, it's not going well. It's rainy and nasty outside- why would I want to go to music and math? Y'all tell me.

Not Me Monday

Well, y'all, seeing as I'm up at O'Dark Thirty, I suppose I shall inform you of what I did not do this week. I'm going to warn you, I'm scrambling for thoughts, but have faith that they'll come to me. At least MckMama has more well thought out Not mes than I do.


Ahem.

• This week, I did not ask my music appreciation teacher if we could just have the test on Thursday instead of Tuesday because she forgot the test herself and was about to read it aloud. Now if y'all knew my teacher, you would understand why I did not do this. She's ADD on her conversations; doesn't speak clearly on things; forgets to give you the letter A,B,C, or D for the list to choose from; and stops mid-sentence to tell you that a Piano is such and such.... and the fact doesn't relate to the test at all. I did not roll my eyes when (surprise) and 31 question test that would've taken up 30 minutes of my time took an hour.
• I did not consume enough chocolate for a crowd this week. I have my good reasons people. I also have a massive chocolate tooth (not sweet tooth) and the fact that my mom gave me a tin of Ghiradelli milk chocolate makes it ten times better. or not...
• I did not go to Starbucks this week 3 times for a triple, venti, non-fat, no foam, vanilla latte. Nuh-uh.

See I told y'all I was scrambling for thoughts. But maybe I'll think up some more and put them on here later. We'll see.

Dizzy dizzy

I don't know what is wrong has been wrong with me this week. More like I know, but how did it happen? I went to sleep Wednesday night with the ominous tingle in my sinuses- the tingle that says, "hello, my name's Cold and I'm coming to visit- hope you don't mind." Yes, that tingle. So I wake up Thursday with a sore throat. The tingle grew overnight to a monstrous sore throat and congestion. Let me tell you, not fun to wake up to at all. I drank orange juice, danced when I saw Mucinex at home, the whole shabang. Still is here. I sounded like a dying llama last night y'all... Jessica was feeling bad for me. Dying llama.

My number one funny thing about this cold. I'm dizzy! Seriously, talk about my inner ear being way off. It's off. I feel like everything's spinning nonstop. If I were a smoker, I'd think I was high- but I'm not. Then I was ADD last night. I was talking to Jess and she'd be like, "Lauren what are you talking about?!" It was funny. So this is what my life is like- being dizzy and sounding like a dying llama.

25 Songs

Apparently, this is the new survey that's getting popular on Facebook :)

1. The Reason- Celine Dion
2. Monster Hospital- Metric
3. Elevator- Flo Rida
4. Daylight- Coldplay
5. My Sweet Song- Toby Lightman
6. My Wish- Rascal Flatts
7. One Man Show- Jonas Brothers
8. Get Down (You're the One for Me)- Backstreet Boys
9. All for One- High School Musical cast
10. Love Remains the Same- Gavin Rossdale
11. Bittersweet Faith- Bitter Sweet
12. I Believe- Building 429
13. Glamorous- Fergie
14. Look After You- The Fray
15. Sweetest Thing- U2
16. Everything I Own- *NSYNC
17. Yesterday's Letter- 98 Degrees
18. Dreamsome- Shelby Lynne
19. Goodies- Ciara
20. Whatever It Takes- Lifehouse
21. Lollipop- Lil Wayne
22. The Winner Takes it All- Merryl Streep (Mamma Mia)
23. Bigger Than My Body- John Mayer
24. Do Somethin'- Britney Spears
25. So What!- Pink (my theme song)

And this was only 25 out of my 1241 songs... I noticed all 4 of my dark secrets came out- boy bands and Celine Dion. Go figure!

I almost did not forget!

It's Not Me! Monday! With my crazy weekend and brother's day of celebration, I did not forget that it was the best day ever! So with out further ado:
This weekend was not pure stress. I did not want to collapse from exhaustion yesterday in the midst of doing new line at Gymboree because I'm young, sprite, and cheery (yeah right.) And because I'm youthful and happy and I did not get doggone irritated at the two Mexican ladies who came in, ignored one of their babies' dirty diapers (oh yes, they did) and want to scream. No, not me. Oh and while I'm at it I want you all to know, that yes I do have a strong stomach. When these ladies ignored the fact that it smelled like a sewer in the store, I did not have to go to the stockroom just to get fresh air, breathe, and fight the heave; I work with babies, I love babies- therefore I can stomach a dirty diaper...

Ahem.

Moving on. I did not tell two people in my math class Thursday night that'd I'd sign their name on the roll just so they could leave and go makeout (or do other things that we'll let lie low.) Seriously, I'll be honest on this one, I could not take their groping anymore. So just to get them to leave and go get some nookie, I told them I'd put their name down. Only then, when they left, I changed my mind. I did not not put their name on roll and did not laugh because they do have 2 absences already when we're not even a month into school. I did not figure that if I had to suffer that math class, they should too. I'm not mean.



Anywho, head over to MckMama for some nice, warm Not Me! thoughts. TTFN!

Flossy Marie

You might wonder "what the heck!?!?" on the title- but that was what my dad called my little brother when he was an itty-bitty redhead of a baby. He had a wide range of nicknames, "baby" by Hannah; Little Guy by mom and I; and Flossy Marie. If there's more, I'm not remembering them- it was half a decade ago, give me a break!

See, this little guy isn't just any baby- he's the only boy, the baby of the family, a surprise and a half (not as much as H), the one who will carry on the last name that we thought was a dead end w/ my sister and I, a troublemaker, all around hysterical.

Matthew John was born at Emerson Hospital in Concord, Mass. In the midst of historical sites, on Monday, February 2, 2004 at 8:38 a.m. EST , this little guy was born. He was not happy about being taken out of his happy place- and he peed on the doctor just to show him how mad he was. I remember when mom refused to let dad take me to the nursery when I got to the hospital because she wanted to see my reaction to his hair; and you just don't say no to a woman who just had a baby. We joked for her whole pregnancy that he'd be a redhead since mom had a brunette and a blonde already. Well imagine her surprise when her little guy had some very red hair when she first saw him- she was giddy and knew I would be too.

We were sad when his hair turned blonde, but we enjoyed his red hair for a good year. The boy's been a heartbreaker from the minute he's been out of the womb. Now he's complete trouble and will find a way to be sneaky but give a grin only a mother and sister would love when he's caught. He and H are best buds- one minute they fight, the next they love each other. He's my baby brother and always will be. His first hours were spent in my arms. I never let him out of my sight unless the nurses had to take him and do bloodwork or do his stats.

Now he's just trouble (for proof see the picture above.) Between giving himself the alter ego of troublemaker, throwing things over the staircase, telling our neighbor to back off or else, teasing the dogs next door, sneaking his way downstairs when he's supposed to be in bed, there isn't an hour that goes by that this house is quiet- ok, well when he's at school it's quiet. Either way, he cracks us all up and not a day goes by that I wish he wasn't around :)