Not Me! Monday

Yay for Mondays! Not only are Mondays my day off, but it's also the infamous Not Me! Monday... ok maybe not "infamous" but it sure is infamous in the network of bloggers that follow MckMama, who herself created this theraputic device :)

  • Of course my week was started off great when the cocky, arrogant jerk my Biology teacher informed me that he doesn't think I want to be in his class and don't try hard enough even though I'm a "smart girl." For one, the man doesn't know me. He messed up the test. Didn't teach the stuff. You get my drift? What made manners worse was that he preached evolution like you wouldn't believe. Preached! He also told those of us who didn't agree with his views to get over it; "it's how all scientists think." Personally, I think all is a pretty broad term. Where's the Not Me part? Here it is: while sitting in this dreadful class, I did not want to tell him off for being a jerkwad, lecturing me like I'm in high school, and preaching a belief that's full of fallacies. I didn't want to ask about the monkeys, the classic question of "if we descended from the apes, why are there still apes?" Nor how a tree and I both decended from this one random cell that decided to pop up...

  • I didn't get a new Vera Bradley bag. See, there's no way in heaven I'm in love with all things Vera. Keychains, purses, checkbook covers, flat iron covers, you name it. No way, not me. So, it's not like I bought this beauty for school or anything. I'm still deciding on a name for her- yes, her.

  • I didn't purposely creep out a creep of a customer Thursday. See, there's this customer who is a creep (just in case y'all didn't pick up on it already) who likes to ogle body parts that will remain anonymous while he's ordering what he always gets, every time, at Jason's. I've constantly been offended (silently) by his actions, so I did not relatiate his pervertedness with the following: "Soup and salad, bowl of tomato basil?" when he was about to order his usual. His face went white; I was asked how I remembered him. Instead of saying what I did not want to say, which is, "well since you like to tell my girls what you want instead of telling my face, it's easy to remember a nasty man with fake white teeth and a fake tan like you." Smile! Instead I just informed him I have a great memory.

  • Finally, I did not go stand in the nursery yesterday morning just to make sure a high maintenence lady didn't try to bring her daughter to the infant nursery to keep her child away from the thing every mother dreads- a runny nose. It's fair to say at least 3 kids in the toddler nursery had runny noses, but: each one was on antibiotics, the junk was clear, and last but not least they were fever free. When the nursery coordinator found out this happened later, she almost died. So I stood in there yesterday just to make sure they didn't show up again. Infant nursery's my territory- on a good day, there's 5 babies. We don't have the staff to watch a child that's supposed to be in the other room. So take your child (who we found out after the fact she herself was on antibiotics) to the nursery where she belongs and we'll all be happy. Man I had to bite my tongue to not say that to her. Hard. Y'all don't even know. I don't have a problem telling the assistant pastor in charge of Sunday School to remind teachers to not promote kids in the middle of the year; to ask moms to have their daughters wear shorts under the dresses if they're going to flash everyone mid-lesson, much less to put their child in the nursery where they belong. Seriously...


So take your little browser over to MckMama and check out not only her Not Me! but the hundreds of followers as well :)


brooke lynn said...

you are too funny! i enjoyed reading your not me's!
what a creep that creepy guy!

Zach said...

Name the bag Wanda. :]