"You Never Told Me to Turn Off the Water!!!!!!"


Forget me being Bob Vila, I just checked the toilet, and it's still leaking. I shut off the water... sad day for me.

Eventful night!!!!! I am now an amateur plumber! Yes. You read that right. Me, Miss Priss, got a screwdriver and wrench and fixed a toilet. I came home and H said that the toilet was dripping. I admit, at first I did not believe her because she said the shower was leaking yesterday and there was no leak. So I go to the bathroom and low and behold, there's water dripping. I yelled "oh crap." Immediately, I thought back to the days of being an active duty Air Force family when everything went wrong whenever dad went out of town- stitches, cats being run over, dogs disappearing, toilets breaking, mice dying... flashback city! So I say, of course this would happen!

I get the cell phone out and call dad. Conversation:

Me: "The toilet's leaking water!"
Dad: "Ok, get the wrench from downstairs and tighten it. The kids have most likely been climbing up it."
What are they climbing to get? I'm thinking.
Me: "Ok, will do, I'll call you back."

A few minutes pass...

Dad: "Hello?"
Me: "There's water gushing out of the toilet!!!!" Ok, not gushing, but it was flowing...
Dad: "What do you mean?"
Me: "I have a freaking pond on the floor!!! Mom!!! Get me the throw up bucket!!!"
Dad: "A pond?!? You turned off the water didn't you?!"
Me: "No! I didn't turn off the water, you said get the wrench, twist, and I'm golden! You never said turn off the water off!"
Dad: "What about the screw in the tank? You tightened that, right?" DABFLABBIT WHAT SCREW IN THE TOILET?!!?!?!?!?!?
Me: "No, you never said turn off the water, never said tighten the screw... MOM GET ME A SCREWDRIVER!!!!"
Dad: "Ok, drain the water out of the tank. Then tighten the screw."
Me: "Oh gross, I have toilet water in my hair."
Dad: "It's just water."
Me: "Dad, did you forget who you're talking to? I don't normally use screwdriver and wrench and pipes in my vocabulary. I'm a priss."
A few minutes later, I tightened, twisted, took a few breaths, mopped up the mess... and am now certified to be an amateur plumber. Thank you.
Oh, and I did go to class. And got peanut M&Ms out of the vending machine to tame my chocolate craving.
Ahem. That's all.

1 comment:

Zach said...



That's hilarious. And you used daflabbit. I'm flattered. lol