A break.

All I want right now is a break. I don't know why, but lately, I just... want one. I'm so burned out, I feel like the Little Train That Could. I have no inspiration for anything. No zest. Nothing. I think a combination of school, work, and Satan trying to grab a hold of me is all just taking it's toll.

I'm putting myself through counseling again to try and get a flame lit in me. I've been so angry for the last few weeks that it's starting to take it's toll on me. I've thrown my health against the wind and have been binging on wheat and gluten like you wouldn't believe. This binge resulted in massive stomach pains that sent me to the doctor on Thursday morning.

I'm burnt out on my faith. I haven't been to bible study in the past few weeks because none of it was processing in my mind and I ended up just sitting for two hours thinking about my week. The good news is that while I am totally 100% burnt out on ministry work regarding children, there's a spark in me that finally wants to read Crazy Love. Even though Satan wants to get a hold of me, I'm fighting him. I've found a church that's to my liking.

The unfortunate part of all of this is my spending habits have gone downhill. Before this twister of the past few weeks started, I was finally getting control of when I should swipe my bank card and when I shouldn't. However, it'd be nice if Target refused to admit people who are stressed out... I find myself losing control in there. Bad.

While I am very much burnt out on school, I'm excited about registering for Spring 2010 in the morning. Full time education classes, 15 hours, but I'm excited. Which is good. However, in the mean time, I really need to start thinking on a policy to write my thesis that is a two year process that Athens State is kind enough to break down for me. Not to mention my other research paper for environmental science that's about transmittable diseases.

While last year I hated Christmas time with a passion, I'm actually excited for it this year. Phew. It's a good sign when I'm excited about Target doing a full-blown Christmas section the day before Halloween. Now, in a couple weeks, it just might be a different story. But I regress.

Needless to say, I am burnt out. I want a vacation oh.so.bad. I'm going to Nashville for a day though next week that I am very much looking forward to.

1 comment:

Hannah Noel said...

You sound like you need to take a drive to somewhere beautiful (a park, mountains, the forest, etc.), and just sit for a while with God. Let him help you relax and feel his love and strength fill you up!! You can do it hon, I've been reading your blog long enough to know that you are an incredibly strong, devout young woman!