Thoughts from a Procrastinator

where do I want to teach?

why does my room magically go from clean and organized to messy?

my hair is getting longer!

I wish I could Audrey Hepburn's attitude.

I should not work on Mondays.

I'm a chocolate addict.

I love Twitter.

what do I want to do this Friday night since I'm off?

I wonder what school I'll do my field experience in?

WHY does school feel so stressful?

Should I get another book to read? No... that will distract me.

Recap!

My first week has been a plethora of emotions. Attitudes such as exhaustion, exhilaration, frustration, and confusion have all been felt by me in the last couple of days. But. I just realized that I have a 4 day weekend (yippee!)

I've been given the ok on my background check. Although I realized that I put my LAST name as my first name and vice versa on my registration. However, they had my license number and Social Security number so I'm good.

Foundations of Education is not what I thought it would be at all. It's straight up hard. Sometime between now and Tuesday I have to write an essay on the Conceptual Framework of Athens State's College of Education. Ay carrumba.

Oh, and I woke up this morning to an email from Disney saying they need people to work next year. I thought, "are you kidding me?" If I was a different major maybe. But being an education major, I have to observe every semester (next year I'll be student teaching.) So it won't work out.

That's just a recap. I'll write a longer post sometime this weekend.

Day 1

Well, to put it mildly, the first day back in the trenches of school has gone superb. That's right- superb!

Yes, I am just a tad worn out at 12:30 but that could be due to my waking at 6, running around getting ready, and being on campus at the time when normally I'm waking up.

My class are superb. Well, for what I expected it's superb. Speech isn't great, but it's speech, and everyone has to take it. Plus, my instructor is a Brit and his accent is divine. I love a good accent. He's really funny too, and is really random like me. Plus he can't think straight- again, he's like me.

Biology 104 will be much better this second time around. I already have my materials (yay!) and he's easy in my opinion. Plus, we get to take field trips to the wilderness. Love it!

Tonight is environmental science. We'll see how that goes, but so far, I think I feel a little better about my impending semester :)

Parent vs. Teacher

It's already happened. I've had a parent send me an email about a rule in Sunday School. It wasn't a nice email either.

I sent a letter home with the parents saying that we cannot do bathroom runs in class. We have an hour and a lot of material to cover, projects, etc. I have fourteen kids who are four and five years old. Yesterday, we cut it really close to the one hour mark without a bathroom break.

Now, mind you. I said that the kids can go BEFORE they come to class. You know, have a parent take them to the bathroom. That would help me and the other teacher out a lot.

The previous teacher and I had an incident a few weeks ago where a little girl didn't tell us she had to go and wet herself. We talked the parents and got everything straightened out. Or so I thought. This parent has claimed the child was afraid to come to me. What?

I understand where she is coming from regarding kids holding their bladders. I've held off replying to it because it's really struck a nerve with me. I have taught this class for two years. I've worked with little kids since I can remember. However, I also know that they can go before class or after class.

If I see a kid dancing around and acting like they're going to go right there, yes, I will take them. I make exceptions. But does she know how hard it is to stop your lesson and take 14 kids to the bathroom?

So. Any parents out there who want to give suggestions?

Broken

Normally I get sick of a song really fast. Most likely because it's overplayed on the local radio stations. For example, I loved The Fray until everyone else loved them and they were played at least once an hour. Now, I can't stand them.

But I've loved Broken by Lifehouse ever since I first heard it last year. At the time, I was going through a major rough patch- broken family, a rough break up. The words were ointment for my deep, deep emotional wounds. Lifehouse just came out with a new version of the song and I love it more than the original song. It's even more moving.

As I look at the next semester, I know that there is only so much I can do until I get to the point where I freak out. The song just reminds me that there's Someone bigger than me overlooking the next 4 months and that I can only do so much.

On that note, I got more surprises dished on me this weekend. Like my APTT (not to mention the cost,) a pre-test, and seeing my classes' blackboards. Not good, not fun. I'll be honest, I'm scared of screwing up this semester. I'm working thirty hours next weekend and I have a gut feeling I'll have to slash it, which will drive me nuts. Add in church, a bible study I really want to do, 14 hours of school, and... i feel hopeless.

My emotions have been a roller coaster in the past couple of weeks, as you've read.

But I will rock it, even though right now I feel hopeless... and broken.

Since Meg's tagged me, I suppose I shall indulge y'all on my seven things that I cannot get enough of!

1. Coke. As in Coca-Cola. I need it. Actually, need is an understatement. The funny part is that I prefer coke from a can. It doesn't taste the same if it's in a bottle or out of a fountain. But I'll drink it anyway as long as it's coke. And no, not Diet Coke
2. Music. I have to have my music. Actually, more like my iPod. I listen to it when getting dressed. Blowdrying just isn't the same without some Britney Spears, ya know? When I blog? I listen to music. Cleaning? Music. Driving? Yeah, I think you get my drift. Lately I've been reminiscing my pre-teen, boy band obsessed days. The days where you argued with another girl on whether Nick Carter was hotter than Justin Timberlake.
   
3. Vera Bradley. I think this is an obsession like no other. It has my mom worried. The only reason I'm excited about field experience (besides the fact that it's exciting being in a teaching program) is because I got a Vera Bradley lanyard for my ID. oh yes. I informed my mom that her Mighty Leaf black tea was my Vera Bradley.
   
4. Starbucks. Whether getting a latte or mocha, coffee cup, thermos, or new water bottle, I love that place. It only tickles me more that I drive by one every Wednesday on the way to Athens. Gotta love Starbucks.
5. Target. oh target, how I love you. So much. Whether I need a new shirt, shoes, workout gear, makeup, something to decorate my room... there's always something there I have to have.
6. Bare Escentuals makeup. Love it. Don't love the price tag.
7. Twitter. I love it. I think it's fun and exciting. Plus, it's not like Facebook. I used to be way annoyed w/ it but we're getting used to each other.
   

I Will Rock.

I've been thinking about my up and coming semester that starts in 8 days. Well, actually 9.

And it will be stressful. But I will rock it. So my schedule might look like this:

Not included is work and field experience.

But I will rock its socks off.

Because I'm cool like that.

Even though I will most likely have days where I'll be in yoga pants, ponytail, and coffee in hand wondering if it would be better to run off to Italy with all $50 of mine, I know that I will rock it.

Sure- I might just break down in tears sometimes. But it's only one semester. Fifteen weeks, 120 classes. Ahem.

Dear Fall '09. I will kick your... butt.

I'm a Fighter & Survivor

Tonight's been a whirlwind for me. I skipped the gym because I was lazy, but now that they're closed, I need a really really really good workout. Here's why:

It's donned on me that a year ago I was a very happy go lucky girl who thought she was super blessed. Little did I know that God would take me on quite the adventure that has made me into the woman I am today. I can't believe that all started a year ago. It seems like a life time but also like yesterday at the same time.

Anyway. Tonight I was helping my sister with her homework and feeling frustrated because she wouldn't concentrate to save her life. She's been home sick for two days and has major catching up to do.

While she was writing away, I thought for giggles and grins I would check my Athens email. Well. I was not prepared.

I had 16 unread emails.

One of which was from my advisor.

Which said that I needed to apply for field experience and get fingerprinted. [insert four letter cussword here... anything that starts with a d, s, or if necessary, f, will do.]

um. what? That was my thought. After the cussword of course.

I went into major panic mode. MAJOR. But I felt this peace come over me. A little peace, at least.

So I registered for field experience, picked a county and two city schools as my preference, and ASU will go from there on my address, schools that have open postions, etc. I honestly thought, why is this so stressful?

Then it donned on me: I'm a junior. In an actual program. Not taking prerequisites (ok some, but still.) I'm not in community college full time anymore. I'm also in a teaching program which will shape my future.

Yikes.

A couple came in work last night and since it was dead, we actually got to talk. When i told them that I was an elementary education major they told me right away that Tennessee needed teachers. Wow. They were blessings in disguise.

To sum this up, I feel like I've survived a major battle in the last year. I'm still stressed. Will always be stressed. Do I like it? No. Is it worth it? Yes.

Not Me! Monday

Thanks to MckMama, I have somewhere to tell about what I did not do this week. Click here to go to her weekly carnival and see what she didn't do.

This week, I did not want to put up a sign to tell my customer's at Jason's to get off their phones before I rung them up. How rude can they be?

I did not have a blast and a half with Faith Friday night, especially when we went back to get her phone.

Speaking of Friday night, Faith and I didn't ask a complete stranger if he wanted to sit with us. And he and I are not Tweeting each other back and forth about silly stuff, like crayons and Anchorman (as in Will Ferrell.)

I did not almost fall off the elliptical at the gym today when two stud muffins walked in the room.

I did not tell mom that a frappucino just isn't the same without whipped cream after working out (I ordered the lite one.)

I didn't breathe a sigh of relief when I got my grade for Sociology- a C. How sad is that? And I didn't write all the answers to my math final down on my formula sheet that I could use. Even though everyone else didn't do it too. Lastly, I did not take 5 minutes on my physical science final because it was so easy breezy.

What did y'all not do this week?

What Does That Make Me?

I've been thinking deep... and this can always lead to bad things. But sometimes good.

Ever since last night (and I'm still working on that post) I've been thinking about forms of worship. Yes, you wouldn't think this could be such a big deal, but it can be, sadly.

The church I go to sings from hymnals (well right now it's in the bulletin) because that's what the pastor believes in. He has his reasons. We're not "contemporary" at all. Not even a little bit.

Then last night, there was this odd feeling at the David Crowder Band concert. I was awake during worship, not yawning my jaw off. Does that sound horrible or what? But seriously, it really got me thinking.

If it's from the heart, isn't that all that matters? Isn't that what God wants? Just praise over what He's done, created, his power? Do we have to apply theology to worship too?

What if a song on the radio hits me more than a 200 year old song? What's that mean to some people?

I mean, it's all about what suits people. Our church isn't young and spriteful. There's a range of ages; lots of families, elderlies, couples, very few singles... ahem. It's just in the back of my head now that the range has been opened. There are churches that hold my beliefs but have a different form of worship.

Now I know Huntsville is nowhere near the size of Birmingham. We don't have ginormous churches. Especially not ones where you can see the steeple from the interstate. But I couldn't help but think how amazing it was that this huge church most likly had a very humble beginning. It was most likely small at one time. But it's HUGE! I've personally never seen a PCA church this big. I even told Faith that I never knew the PCA had a church this big. Seriously.

So that leaves me thinking...? Where do I go from here? It's one of those, "Dear God, what now?" moments. Do I belong at Westminster? Again, where do I go? What do I do? I had this phase in December but once again, it's here in my heart. It's like it's in there going hello? You are a big girl now.

Along those same lines is the dating life. The guy my hairdresser tried to fix me up with and I were texting a few minutes ago and he asked if I had any men. I said no. I really had to think on the answer to the why? I was asked. Honestly? I haven't met the one I'm supposed to be with yet. Yet.

Oh What a (humid) Night!

Be prepared: it's long.

Last night was the funniest night I have had all year long. And it's August. So that either means I'm way boring... or just don't hang with the right people to have SUCH a funny night.

Let's start at the gas station where Faith and I met. We meet there and I was going in to the ATM to get money to give her for gas. The ATM was out of money. Would someone tell me what ATM machine at a Pilot right off I-65 is out of money??? Anyway. We're walking out and some guy goes, "hey sweet stuff." I'm thinking what the... and look to see a black guy smooching at me. I later figured out a name for him- Sebastian. As in the crab in The Little Mermaid who makes kissing faces.

We get on the road.

Made it to B'ham in an... hour. What the heck? But Faith gets on I-20. I wondered what she was doing but she looked at the directions, not me. She said something about exit 17 and Atlanta. I was confused, but went with it. Then when we were going away from the city, she said "I think I'm going to pull over because I've never seen anything called Briarwood around here." I told her that when I looked at the map, Briarwood was on the south side of town. We pull over. Then we realized we have no map. No GPS. Nothing. Now, I always knew there was a good reason that I pay $15 a month for internet on my phone (no, Facebook, Twitter, and Fox News don't count.) This, ladies and gentlemen, was it. I googled. Surprise! Not. But it would give me directions. So I typed in map. And it said, "would you like to download the Google Maps Application?" Um. Is it free? YES! So I did. Punched in Acton Rd. and voila! We were good.

We got there by 6. Six. Getting lost was included in that time frame. We were going to go to a restaurant called Veracruz but we found out they were closed. So we went to the BBQ place next door and Faith caught up with her best friend. 7 rolled around and off we went to see DCB.

We got there and were surrounded by high schoolers. Disrespectful ones at that. I've never stood on a pew, let alone walk on or around one. When the kids in front of us did it, I wanted to be like, "HEY!" Yes, we know I will be a mean teacher one day. Thankfully some guy came on the stage and gave three rules to the kids. I mean the audience.

The band was AWESOME. In fact, I think awesome is an understatement. Here is David singing.

a little bromance never hurt anyone.

On our way back to the car, we walked by the bus. I took this as photo opportunity at its finest.

So! We head back home. Once we were north of the city, we pulled off the interstate for a pit stop. Faith went to grab her phone... and it wasn't anywhere to be seen. I called it and we couldn't find it. She feared the worst- we left it at Briarwood, which was a good 20 miles away. We hit the road again! I was feeling mighty adventurous. We get back there and charged the car up the hill. One issue- we forgot about the speed bumps. But trust me, we found them alright. I mean, after we flew over the bump. These people that were still talking in the parking lot looked at us like we were crazy. Then again, we are.

Faith stopped her car in the middle of the road and we ran to where we took the pictures. The stage crew was loading up the truck and I ordered Faith to charge ahead so they wouldn't look at us. I called it, saw something light up, and yelled that I found it! I looked at where it was and it was a mere feet away from a tire of the semi truck.

Phew.

After we found the phone, I was craving chocolate. We hit up the McDonald's at the bottom of the hill. Only for some reason, the less than professional manager was in the midst of yelling at one of his employees about how dumb he was for letting a lady pull away with food without paying for it. I was looking at the guy like hello? I'd like to order now. Finally, I got some attention and got some food. Then I didn't see the machine in front of me to swipe my plastic. I seriously said, gosh I wish Jason's had this!

So now I'm thinking about contacting Mickey d's about their less than satisfactory service. Maybe they'll see this. Who knows.

Anyway, so we got home in one piece. No Sebastians to be seen. No Clampetts. Just me talking to stay awake.

Oh! And we met a really cool guy at the concert. I noticed a guy a couple pews behind us just chilling and reading. I had a laugh because it looked like me; in a man's body. But where was I? Oh. I told Faith to ask him come sit with us. So he did. And we got to know him, switched Twitter usernames with each other and went on our merry way. Dagummit, I didn't get a picture of him. I fail.

The end.

Much too Early

I'm up at this God-forsaken hour getting ready for a 7am meeting with a trainer at my gym.

Wait.

Did I tell y'all I joined a gym? I can't remember. Well, I did. I've had three successful days on the elliptical, been informed I have a great heartrate, but... I need to drop 10-20 pounds. Yeah...

So before I move on and mope about that, I'm going to tell y'all that I'm so excited about hitting the road with Faith and heading to Birmingham tonight to see the David Crowder Band! I'm praying for no traffic at all. I thought we'd be in the clear until I Googled our destination and found that it's on the south side of town. Darnit. I hate living north of Birmingham sometimes.

I'll post pictures for y'all from the trip.

in the meantime, I'm going to take my already sore body to the gym so I can get even more sore. Hopefully, I won't cry everytime I laugh because of the massive pain my muscles are feeling.

Get it Out!

Today I was getting extremely bitchy irritable with customers who were on their phones. I wanted to yell, "for pete's sake, I love my phone too, but put that thing down before I scream so I can take your ticket, charge you, and get you out." Ahem.

Then it dawned on me. I need a sign. But not just any sign. This sign.

I might have mentioned I'm slightly in love with the Gilmore Girls. I can't help it. I ♥ them. So when I saw that, I saw this.

This pretty much sums up my life at work. Or in general. There's tons more I saw and I want all of them but I'll have to settle for looking at them on my blog.

Not Me! Monday

It's edition number... who knows. It's NMM again! The time of week where you tell about what you did "didn't" do last week.

Last week, my A/C adaptor did not catch fire and set off fireworks. It was not traumatic and slightly funny in the aftermath. This did not leave me computerless for a few days. I did not miss the cyberworld, either. But I didn't miss reading blogs and such.

I didn't want to scream at customers last week. For some reason, all the difficult ones were not out in full force and testing my patience. Well, the Jason's ones that is. At Gymboree, I didn't want to dance because it was my LAST two nights working in that wretched place as a sales associate on Friday and Saturday.

I didn't want to freak out on Sunday when a little girl peed on herself without telling me or my other co-teacher that she needed to go; I really didn't get frustrated when her parents tried to make up an excuse for it. It's not a clear sign that this is my last year of teaching Sunday School before I get sick of kids and change my major. Again.

I didn't get frustrated last night talking to my grandma who asked first thing if I'm saving my money. I didn't tell her that when I'm not paying for gas, food, etc. that I'm trying to save money... I proceeded to bite my tongue before I went on to say in was none of her G.D.B. When she asked about any new boyfriends, I didn't laugh and tell her I really truly don't have time for one. I really didn't hash out my schedule for the next year, like my APTT/application to the teaching program/all my classes either, just to get my point across.

Ahem. Breathe, Lauren.

As you can see, it was quite eventful last week, and y'all didn't even get updates on it... have a great week!