2.28.2009
A Very Bad Example of Christian Sisterhood*
Apparently, Ms. Manners disagreed. At first I laughed, because she flaunts the fact that she's studying to be a counselor and keeps hinting at the pastor that she wants to be the "church counselor." So I laughed when she asked the speaker a question, only it was rhetorical and trying to take the reigns in my opinion. I wrote mom a note, she laughed, discussion went on. Not even kidding, twenty minutes later, Ms. Manners did the same thing. Again and again and again. It got the point that when the books were brought up, when Julie corrected Ms. Manners on her view of counseling, Ms. Manners crossed her arms, rolled her eyes and sulked.
Immediately I thought, "Are you serious? And you expect me to want to come to you with all my problems at some time? I don't think so..." Here I am, this 19 year old woman who knows that of the all things to not do to a guest who drove up from Birmingham, you don't correct them or try to take over their seminar we paid for. Seriously. I was disgusted, ashamed, etc. to say the least. She gave a really horrid show for us other ladies. Ladies who came to learn, take, and apply. Not to correct or control.
I learned a lot from the seminar, don't get me wrong, I'll blog about that too. But the #1 (or 9) thing I learned was this- don't ever take control where your control is not needed. If you want to gain clientele among your church body, a good place to start is humility.
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*Disclaimer: this blogisode came out of love.
2.26.2009
B.B. Good
It's every 19 7 year old girl's dream to go see these three cuties, in 3D no less... Can y'all believe that our showing was almost sold out? It's at 4:30 on a Saturday afternoon and I bought those babies fast so our semi-ok seats didn't go to the other psycho moms out there (note: psycho mom not sisters.) She and I have been looking forward to this... me more than her, but that's not the point. The little girls in her class told her that this was coming, so she relayed the info to me with her big blue eyes (the eyes she gives to get her way) in a way that doesn't specifically say "can we go" but you know what she's getting at- she is my sister. Again, she gave the Big Blues that I take pity on (and she knows it, the little manipulator.) To her advantage, which she knew because we blast out and dance the Jonas Brothers every so often, I want to go. So naturally, I remembered her surprise so she could have the one on one time she loves, tell the girls at the birthday party she has Sunday, and I am deemed The Coolest Sister on the Planet... And it's not like I posed with the guys last month or anything because I was excited.
2.25.2009
Downfalls of Having Two X-Chromosomes
- We get very emotional at a certain time, every time, without fail.
- Chocolate can become our best friend very fast and sticks around... and never leaves
- Ditto on the caffeine.
- Bras are not easy to find. You can't just walk into Victoria's Secret, grab the cup size that looks right, and check out. If only...
- Ditto on a pair of jeans... a top... a bathing suit (ick.) Which is why we buy shoes- shoes stay one size forever.
- most men don't give us the credit we deserve- hello, we menstruate 12 times a year and push kids out of us. Sometimes we even get them cut out of us.
- PMS is the worst thing on the planet for us. We munch, cry, munch, mope, and bloat.
- We women tend to get very emotional. Very.
- We have expectations to meet that society has set for us. Thankfully the expections aren't as high these days as they were 40 years ago. Double standards and glass ceilings, anyone?
- We get discouraged very easily. At least I do. We know we're not natural leaders, but don't tell us otherwise. Let us think it, but we both know the truth.
- For some reason, men think all we spend our money on is clothes. In truth, it's not. We just happen to get shoes when you are paying attention. See number 5...
- Finally, we're human only with hormones, tears, trials, tribulations, etc. Just be patient with us for these few days, and everyone will be a-o-k.
2.24.2009
"It's All Them Banks' Fault"
Then I was reading a friend's blog where she put up a video of some lady from Acorn (you know, the crazy African American group that tried to rig the election a couple months back?) who claimed that "All Americans have the right to housing." I thought about what she said... in the midst of their house squatting, trying to save houses that people haven't paid for in months, we have a right to housing? Hmm... so that means that I, a student, can go buy a house, not pay my mortgage, and when the bank comes after me, I call up my Acorns and they squat... right... Can y'all sense my sarcasm?
The host of the show (who has an amazing accent) pointed out a very good point. One of the "beyah!" moments. He said, "allow to me get this straight- the banks are wrong to go after people who haven't paid for months because they have a right to those houses? Where in the Constitution does it say we have a right to housing? A right... tell me, which Bill, which Amendment. We have a Constitutional Lawyer on later, perhaps he can help me understand this right." The lady sits quietly for a second (for once) and then says, "well it says we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Okay... you know how people take something out of context? That was an excellent example... Thank you, Obama, for people like this.
Coming from my Conservatism (and the result of driving by public housing in downtown Huntsville) only these people would think this way. Due to the government's generosity, they've given poor people housing. I probably sound racist, but I'm not. There are plenty of hard working African Americans out there who do not get the respect that they deserve because of these extreme groups. So please don't be offended.
The bottom line is this: that $300,000 house of your's you can't afford? Just call up Acorn, they'll help you. Again, sarcasm.
Does this mean something...?
I laughed at it because we talked on Facebook last week about whether the rumor of Katherine Heigl and T.R. Knight leaving the cast was fact or fiction. Does this tell you that I need to get a life? When a friend texts a picture of an article out of US Weekly? I think so...
2.23.2009
Not Me! Monday
Yay for Mondays! Not only are Mondays my day off, but it's also the infamous Not Me! Monday... ok maybe not "infamous" but it sure is infamous in the network of bloggers that follow MckMama, who herself created this theraputic device :)
- Of course my week was started off great when
the cocky, arrogant jerkmy Biology teacher informed me that he doesn't think I want to be in his class and don't try hard enough even though I'm a "smart girl." For one, the man doesn't know me. He messed up the test. Didn't teach the stuff. You get my drift? What made manners worse was that he preached evolution like you wouldn't believe. Preached! He also told those of us who didn't agree with his views to get over it; "it's how all scientists think." Personally, I think all is a pretty broad term. Where's the Not Me part? Here it is: while sitting in this dreadful class, I did not want to tell him off for being a jerkwad, lecturing me like I'm in high school, and preaching a belief that's full of fallacies. I didn't want to ask about the monkeys, the classic question of "if we descended from the apes, why are there still apes?" Nor how a tree and I both decended from this one random cell that decided to pop up... - I didn't get a new Vera Bradley bag. See, there's no way in heaven I'm in love with all things Vera. Keychains, purses, checkbook covers, flat iron covers, you name it. No way, not me. So, it's not like I bought this beauty for school or anything. I'm still deciding on a name for her- yes, her.
- I didn't purposely creep out a creep of a customer Thursday. See, there's this customer who is a creep (just in case y'all didn't pick up on it already) who likes to ogle body parts that will remain anonymous while he's ordering what he always gets, every time, at Jason's. I've constantly been offended (silently) by his actions, so I did not relatiate his pervertedness with the following: "Soup and salad, bowl of tomato basil?" when he was about to order his usual. His face went white; I was asked how I remembered him. Instead of saying what I did not want to say, which is, "well since you like to tell my girls what you want instead of telling my face, it's easy to remember a nasty man with fake white teeth and a fake tan like you." Smile! Instead I just informed him I have a great memory.
- Finally, I did not go stand in the nursery yesterday morning just to make sure a high maintenence lady didn't try to bring her daughter to the infant nursery to keep her child away from the thing every mother dreads- a runny nose. It's fair to say at least 3 kids in the toddler nursery had runny noses, but: each one was on antibiotics, the junk was clear, and last but not least they were fever free. When the nursery coordinator found out this happened later, she almost died. So I stood in there yesterday just to make sure they didn't show up again. Infant nursery's my territory- on a good day, there's 5 babies. We don't have the staff to watch a child that's supposed to be in the other room. So take your child (who we found out after the fact she herself was on antibiotics) to the nursery where she belongs and we'll all be happy. Man I had to bite my tongue to not say that to her. Hard. Y'all don't even know. I don't have a problem telling the assistant pastor in charge of Sunday School to remind teachers to not promote kids in the middle of the year; to ask moms to have their daughters wear shorts under the dresses if they're going to flash everyone mid-lesson, much less to put their child in the nursery where they belong. Seriously...
Ahem.
So take your little browser over to MckMama and check out not only her Not Me! but the hundreds of followers as well :)
2.16.2009
All good things come with the letter L
1. What is your name: Lauren
2. A four Letter Word: Love
3. A boy's Name: Luke
4. A girl's Name: Lily
5. An occupation: Licensed Practical Nurse
6. A color: Lilac
7. Some thing you wear: Lingerie
8. A food: Lettuce
9. Something found in the bathroom: Lotion
10. A place: London
11. A reason for being late: Laundry
12. Something you shout: Loser!
13. A movie title: Legally Blonde
14. Something you drink: Lemonade
15. A school: LSU
16. A musical group: Lifehouse
17. An academic discipline: Literature
18. An animal: Lion
19. A street name: Lancaster Blvd., Lancaster, CA
20. A type of car: Lexus
2.15.2009
Not Me! Monday
Tuesday... I didn't go to Target and spend half a Benjamin Franklin on necessities like shaving cream, face wash, face moisturizer, etc. Also, I didn't get 3 shaving creams to be on the safe side because my brother finds humor in spreading it all over the shower. I didn't want to scream how I dislike being a girl in the midst of swiping my plastic. Oh, and how sad/good is it that I didn't know they were getting a new computer system at Target and did a double take that I was swiping the plastic, not putting it in the machine where many people prayed the machine spit the card back out? And did that paragraph make any sense?
2.14.2009
Singles' Awareness Day
What's pitiful is the holiday is so commercialized, that's why I don't like it. See, Valentine's is rubbed into everyone's face with commercials, internet, signage, etc. I walked into Publix last night and in my face was dozens and dozens of roses, chocolate, cards, balloons and Jessica looked at me and went, "what the heck." I concurred with her on that because we don't want to be reminded of our singledom. At least not today; any other day, we could handle it. But not today.
So I have a day full of seeing gaggy people who fall for the commercialized holiday of love. Help me.
2.12.2009
Dear Shonda
I'm disgusted with Shonda Rhimes, people. D-i-s-g-u-s-t-e-d. What has she done with my McDreamy? What was she thinking crossing over Grey's and Private Practice? Honey, I'm gonna be honest- if she's trying to bring up her ratings, what she's really doing is dousing them in kerosene and torching them, if you ask me.
I want the old McDreamy back. Not the one who's playing God while in the meantime falling for Addison Montgomery again. Ugh. And I want the old Izzie back, not the psychotic ghost seeing Izzie. I want my fiesty Grey and Yang back, not old ladies. How about womanizing McSteamy? Yes, I said it, I want the womanizer back. He's fiction people, not real, he can pull it off. Oh, and tonight was the first sighting of George in weeks if I remember right.
And I wonder why I like The Office more and more every week...
Valentines and Chocolates
Laugh at me people, laugh at me. So we had a fun trip, I have plenty of pictures to prove it, learned lots of stuff about chocolate, the difference between lattes and cappucinos (I could've told y'all the difference), got freebies, and then went back to school. Very exhausting. Oh, and if you want to know what nasty, unsweetened, real chocolate tastes like, just look at this face ....
How about the face of a child who's in the kitchen of a chocolate store? See below.
Yes, she had a ton of fun. In fact, she had a blast. And blast is an understatement. Now onto the party- did I mention exhausting? 20 kids with sugar in them, I don't think I need to tell y'all how exhausting it was. We played Bingo with those fun candies that have messages on them, opened Valentine's, and made cookies for Mrs. Hewitt, Mrs. Kooi, Mrs. Williams, and the front office.
But my favorite picture of all was the picture of feeling defeated. This picture was priceless. H wasn't winning at Bingo, so she was understandably sad.
Yes, as you can see, the pink camera and I are getting along just fine.
2.10.2009
"You Never Told Me to Turn Off the Water!!!!!!"
Forget me being Bob Vila, I just checked the toilet, and it's still leaking. I shut off the water... sad day for me.
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Eventful night!!!!! I am now an amateur plumber! Yes. You read that right. Me, Miss Priss, got a screwdriver and wrench and fixed a toilet. I came home and H said that the toilet was dripping. I admit, at first I did not believe her because she said the shower was leaking yesterday and there was no leak. So I go to the bathroom and low and behold, there's water dripping. I yelled "oh crap." Immediately, I thought back to the days of being an active duty Air Force family when everything went wrong whenever dad went out of town- stitches, cats being run over, dogs disappearing, toilets breaking, mice dying... flashback city! So I say, of course this would happen!
I get the cell phone out and call dad. Conversation:
Me: "The toilet's leaking water!"
Dad: "Ok, get the wrench from downstairs and tighten it. The kids have most likely been climbing up it."
What are they climbing to get? I'm thinking.
Me: "Ok, will do, I'll call you back."
A few minutes pass...
Dad: "Hello?"
C.A.
The only thing helping me is a) watching Ina's "Barefoot Contessa" episode that is only chocolate right now and b) going on my sister's field trip tomorrow to Chocolate Crocodile (oh you know.)
If y'all know me, you aren't surprised. I love chocolate. Just a lot lately. Who knows why. I'm trying to get my lazy butt up off the couch to get ready for class. So far, it's not going well. It's rainy and nasty outside- why would I want to go to music and math? Y'all tell me.
2.09.2009
Not Me Monday
Ahem.
- This week, I did not ask my music appreciation teacher if we could just have the test on Thursday instead of Tuesday because she forgot the test herself and was about to read it aloud. Now if y'all knew my teacher, you would understand why I did not do this. She's ADD on her conversations; doesn't speak clearly on things; forgets to give you the letter A,B,C, or D for the list to choose from; and stops mid-sentence to tell you that a Piano is such and such.... and the fact doesn't relate to the test at all. I did not roll my eyes when (surprise) and 31 question test that would've taken up 30 minutes of my time took an hour.
- I did not consume enough chocolate for a crowd this week. I have my good reasons people. I also have a massive chocolate tooth (not sweet tooth) and the fact that my mom gave me a tin of Ghiradelli milk chocolate makes it ten times better. or not...
- I did not go to Starbucks this week 3 times for a triple, venti, non-fat, no foam, vanilla latte. Nuh-uh.
See I told y'all I was scrambling for thoughts. But maybe I'll think up some more and put them on here later. We'll see.
2.07.2009
Dizzy dizzy
My number one funny thing about this cold. I'm dizzy! Seriously, talk about my inner ear being way off. It's off. I feel like everything's spinning nonstop. If I were a smoker, I'd think I was high- but I'm not. Then I was ADD last night. I was talking to Jess and she'd be like, "Lauren what are you talking about?!" It was funny. So this is what my life is like- being dizzy and sounding like a dying llama.
2.03.2009
25 Songs
- The Reason- Celine Dion
- Monster Hospital- Metric
- Elevator- Flo Rida
- Daylight- Coldplay
- My Sweet Song- Toby Lightman
- My Wish- Rascal Flatts
- One Man Show- Jonas Brothers
- Get Down (You're the One for Me)- Backstreet Boys
- All for One- High School Musical cast
- Love Remains the Same- Gavin Rossdale
- Bittersweet Faith- Bitter Sweet
- I Believe- Building 429
- Glamorous- Fergie
- Look After You- The Fray
- Sweetest Thing- U2
- Everything I Own- *NSYNC
- Yesterday's Letter- 98 Degrees
- Dreamsome- Shelby Lynne
- Goodies- Ciara
- Whatever It Takes- Lifehouse
- Lollipop- Lil Wayne
- The Winner Takes it All- Merryl Streep (Mamma Mia)
- Bigger Than My Body- John Mayer
- Do Somethin'- Britney Spears
- So What!- Pink (my theme song)
And this was only 25 out of my 1241 songs... I noticed all 4 of my dark secrets came out- boy bands and Celine Dion. Go figure!
2.02.2009
I almost did not forget!
This weekend was not pure stress. I did not want to collapse from exhaustion yesterday in the midst of doing new line at Gymboree because I'm young, sprite, and cheery (yeah right.) And because I'm youthful and happy and I did not get doggone irritated at the two Mexican ladies who came in, ignored one of their babies' dirty diapers (oh yes, they did) and want to scream. No, not me. Oh and while I'm at it I want you all to know, that yes I do have a strong stomach. When these ladies ignored the fact that it smelled like a sewer in the store, I did not have to go to the stockroom just to get fresh air, breathe, and fight the heave; I work with babies, I love babies- therefore I can stomach a dirty diaper...
Ahem.
Moving on. I did not tell two people in my math class Thursday night that'd I'd sign their name on the roll just so they could leave and go makeout (or do other things that we'll let lie low.) Seriously, I'll be honest on this one, I could not take their groping anymore. So just to get them to leave and go get some nookie, I told them I'd put their name down. Only then, when they left, I changed my mind. I did not not put their name on roll and did not laugh because they do have 2 absences already when we're not even a month into school. I did not figure that if I had to suffer that math class, they should too. I'm not mean.
Anywho, head over to MckMama for some nice, warm Not Me! thoughts. TTFN!
Flossy Marie
Now he's just trouble (for proof see the picture above.) Between giving himself the alter ego of troublemaker, throwing things over the staircase, telling our neighbor to back off or else, teasing the dogs next door, sneaking his way downstairs when he's supposed to be in bed, there isn't an hour that goes by that this house is quiet- ok, well when he's at school it's quiet. Either way, he cracks us all up and not a day goes by that I wish he wasn't around :)