Rawr to the Nth Degree

My level of irritation these days is high. I mean, HIGH. It has something to do with my hormones for sure, but seriously... I don't recall the last time I've had irriation this bad. I think I need to start tracking my days religiously because I don't remember when I had it... (by the way, I hope you know what I mean by "it".)

To make matters worse, I have work tomorrow through the rest of the week. With customers, such as Mr. Nasty Perverto, no less. Or the former/current coworker that I want to tell to never speak around me because she drives me up a wall. Not to mention the fact I found out I have to work Sunday. This better be the only Sunday I work this month, that's all I have to say. Or else...

Then I had to drop biology today to my dismay. The lady who did my paperwork said, "how's the teacher, out of curiosity?" I said, "agist, sexist, basically a pig." To which she replied, "I met him yesterday and thought the exact same thing." Touche, my dear, touche. But I have 18 hours left to take, that's all... only a semester if I were crazy enough. Which I'm not... so I can maybe transfer to Athens State by next spring. But-

I applied for the Disney internship. I have to call and set up an interview, but if I got it, I'd go in August through January. That could put school off... but I'm not sure yet, I'm not sure on anything right now.

I'm not sure what classes to take this summer, I'm not sure what to take this fall, I'm not sure what tomorrow brings, I don't know...

Not Me! Monday (Stellan Style)

It's time for confessing about what I didn't do this week... only we Wolverines are doing it Stellan Style this week just for MckMama.

This week, I did not put the button up that shows Stellan's adorable-ness, even if he is in a hospital gown with wires all around him. See upper right corner.

I did not come up with the idea that if it were remotely possible, those of us who are Facebook crazies and belong to the Praying for Stellan group should make t-shirts. I thought it'd be cool, but since we all live all over the continental United States and beyond, that'd be impossible. Darn.

I haven't gone to MckMama's Twitter or blog for an update before logging into Facebook. Surely I'm not that worried about the little guy. Nope, not me.

On a more light, upbeat note-

I did not discover the painful way that my Neutrogena version of Proactiv and Nair do. not. mix. well. I learned this the very hard, painful, excrutiating way 30 minutes ago and the pain is still going strong. I felt like I was going to cry when I put on my makeup. Still feel that way. So my suggestion: do not do what I did!

My mom and I did not have fun with complete strangers yesterday. I honestly think she had more fun than I did. here's a downfall to being in the passenger seat and a couple of guys think they're hot- they'll flirt with you on the interstate. My brother kept calling their car something, I don't remember what he called them though. My sister thought it was hysterical. I have enough pictures of their car for my preference and we even took a video of the game. Sadly, though, theypulled off in Cullman. So the game ended... that's ok though, they were not hott.

I did not get excited this morning, either, when I had an email from Disney (you know, Mickey?) about their summer internship program they have at WDW or Disneyland. I went to their presentation at UAH last year but didn't apply for a slew of reasons (ok, one, I had a boyfriend) but seeing as there's no attachments, I just might apply. Thinking about it, though. I can only imagine the humidity and my hair's reaction...

Hope you guys have a fabulous week and are enjoying the spring that's in the air! By the way, my car is yellow now. Disgusting.

No Peanut M&M or Butterfinger Can Cure Me

... and that's a record. Ever since I got home it's been stressmania. I literally feel as if I am going insane. My eye crossed a spare butterfinger in my purse (m&m wrappers, too- please keep in mind I have Vera) but oddly, I didn't want it. I didn't go to it for consolation. But tequila might work... allow me to begin.

See, we got home from GA to find our weeping willow snapped in half, with the pretty part of it MIA and no where to be seen. Our landscaper dude came this weekend, but a bad storm did too. But looking at the leftover tree, evidence shows the landscaper's truck killed it. No word about it, so my mom left a message on his phone asking if he knew what happened to it. I will tell him face to face, "no dinero para tu! Unless you replace the tree..." Great spanglish.

I later went to put gas in mom's car only to find that people think it's ok to go 30 mph in the 45 mph zone in the left lane. Grrr. I then came home to have someone decide to do a U-Turn without being kind enough to tap the brakes or at least use the blinker. For some reason, moments like those take me to deja vu about the accident that totaled mom's minivan. Again, grr.

So after recovering/cursing that idiotic driver, I turn on the Christian radio station, thinking that it would somewhat calm me down. Ha! I tune in at just the right time to hear the monotonous DJ (if that's how you want to describe her) sharing about how great married life is. Gag. That's all she talks about, at least when I listen. Come to think of it, I even think she shared how she and her husband disagree about what temperature of water to use when brushing their teeth... But anyway! She goes on to say how she has great neighbors... you could here the "but..." coming. Sure enough, she started whining about how she hates their windchimes that are "all over their house and they have 5 on the side that faces our house." I was shocked, dismayed, etc. I asked the radio, "is that it? You're complaining about windchimes? Girl, you also better be hoping your neighbors aren't listening to this station at this moment." Because if I were her neighbor, I'd be at Target buying 50 windchimes to put around my house to irk her. I'm that nice.

I declared turning onto the podunk road that I dreamed about a couple nights ago that I was moving away from this town when I have my degree/money. Georgia is nice... very pretty. Much nicer... I declared I'm moving there to teach because "at least they have good radio stations and know how to drive there!" Great reasons to move, right?

But it gets better! While unpacking my stuff, I could not find my Venus razor for the life of me. I dug and dug, and it wasn't anywhere. I always leave something behind when I travel. At least it wasn't a cell phone charger, iPod, camera, blowdryer... nothing super big. But seriously! My razor. The thing's not cheap.

But anyway, a few minutes ago, I was reading MckMama's update and I automatically felt guilty. I could have a child with a severe heart problem whose condition worsens each hour. I could be going on 5 hours of sleep, dealing with arrogant doctors, and trying to hold it together at the same time. Her update made every problem I have with Huntsville miniscule right now. Please, please, please, pray for them right now. I cannot imagine what they are going through at all. God's purpose is evident, to show His power, but it's moments like these that even strangers are asking, "why?" You can click on his picture on the upper right hand corner of my blog to go to his mama's page. While I'm at it, doesn't he look like the sweetest thing?

So no amount of chocolate can cure this weird mood of mine right now.

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But this video sure can!


Shake Your Groove Thing! from Lauren Bice on Vimeo.

April Showers (even in March)

It's official- Georgia thunderstorms are better than Alabama storms. Georgia is prettier. The landscape is way different, too.

Our SUV "John Harvard" had his first official offroading session yesterday thanks to our GPS system. It's not up to date. But we're working on that... who knew "updating" would cost so much? Anyway, we went offroading into our friend's neighborhood and rolled up to her house listening to the Pussycat Doll's "Don't Cha"- quite the movie scene in my mind. Hilarious, in fact. What's worse is that I could barely hear my 7 year old sister singing along to it.

I had some very nutty dreams last night, though, probably due to the fact that I wasn't in my bed and not very tired, either.

• One was that it was Easter and our pastor, Charlie was preaching. All of the sudden, the people in the row behind me shouted "amen brother!" I looked to my mom, shook my head, and said "... Baptists." Yes, true Presbyterian right there.
• My next nutty dream was I was driving down the hobunk road to our neighborhood but it was blocked off by a bunch of fishermen. I went to try and buy bait (what the heck?!) but they said my card was declined. Talk about a nightmare, especially considering I just got paid and my check cleared yesterday!

Thursday I became a scientist and figured out why my face is really broken out. I looked at my cheap Target facewash and there, in the ingredients, was some chemical that started with "gluta-". How on earth? Since when did they put wheat in face wash? So I went that night and am trying Neutrogena's version of Proactiv. It's cheaper, but still expensive, so it better work! I was relating this discovery of mine to mom and she said it's true. Her facialist said that almost everything out there (except for Aveda's sensitive skin care line) has wheat in it. Well, gee.

The theory that I'm not a morning person at all is true. I woke up at 7am EDT, 6am CDT mind you... not a happy girl. But that's ok, because it's fun looking outside seeing dreadful rain with my coffee in hand. I need to find a way to sneak mom's friend's coffee cup home... it's a happy one. After going to Starbucks this week and looking at their coffee mugs, I've decided I absolutely 100% need to go to a 12 step program for my addiction to their mugs. I have at least 6 that I can remember... there's definitely more. I resisted buying a cute one because we don't have any more room in the cupboards for my stash. When I move out, I'll stock up. No worries :)

Keep Stellan in y'all's prayers!

Not your typical blogisode from yours truly

This week so far has been rough. Today, I was borderline crying when doing my math homework because I just didn't understand it. Probability, word problems, and remembering formulas involving letters and numbers just doesn't click in my head. If it's all separate, yes, I can remember- but together, not a chance. I had a biology test last night that I can only hope I got higher than a C. I feel my chances are slim, though. If I have lower, most likely I will have to drop the class. Ditto on math.

Tonight, 3 different people asked the instructor if the test could be moved to Thursday. He said no. So I decided to go ahead with the test, even though I could miraculously "get a cold" and make it up later. But in my head, I thought it out. It wasn't right and I didn't want to have it hanging over my head. Press on I did, along with 12 out of 30 of my classmates. Give you a clue about the difficulties? Anyway, I had just started this horrid test when I noticed shuffling at the table across from me. The nosy self that I am was distracted right away, and I couldn't believe my eyes when these girls pulled out every.single.formula that was in the chapter. The girl behind them pulled out the "study guide" aka the exact test (answers and all) and copied that down. My friend and I were mad. Pissed is the more appropriate word to describe our emotion, actually. I didn't know what to do. My friend, however, told on them. I was sort of shocked, because normally I'm outspoken about stupid things like that. I didn't want to deal with the drama though. After I settled down (talk about a battle of the inner self) I pressed on. Thankfully, I answered every question, but that doesn't mean I answered them right. For all I know, every answer could have been wrong.

The stress of everything has built on me. I've been exhausted lately, probably because yes, I have been eating wheat so that doesn't help, but add in school, you've got a nightmare. All I kept thinking while doing my math homework was, "why isn't dad home? Why does he have to be on day 2 of a 2 week trip in CA?" I have taxes to do, I needed help with homework badly, and of course, he's gone. Unfortunately, that's what happens when he oversees things involving missiles and travels almost every week (on average). Go figure. What's funny is up until this semester, I did not want his help in anything related to math. He'd offer, I'd deny. Now when I want the help, he's gone... hmm.

I was humbled tonight by, of all people, the Duggars. You know, the people with a thousand kids? Ok, 18, but apparently they're looking to spice it up with adding more to their brood that I could possibly stand. Anyways. They were the only thing on tv tonight that looked remotely interesting, so I settled on their show. Let the guilt/humility/degrading of Lauren begin. They went to El Salvador where the average family makes less than I do per year. So 13(?) of the Duggars went down for a mission trip (they have their own youth group, think about it) and took all sorts of presents and what not to the orphans, saw the HIV victims, children who were barely clothed, and it was all so sad. I felt depressed watching it, yet greatly humbled because of what I have. Does that make sense?

I'm dreading work tomorrow. The former co-worker (did I mention her? I can't remember) is filling out paperwork tomorrow... I've repeatedly asked God to help me. Well, I asked Him to not let her get the job, but she got it... so there's something bound to happen that's supposed to happen. Again, have I mentioned I can get controlling when my life, likes, and pleasure are involved? So she has a job, my shifts will now consist of creepy customers, an annoying GM, and hearing about her existent/non-existent sex life. Do I care about her sex life? No. Will I tell her to back off? Only if she makes me mad.

Talk about a not typical blogisode, but it's what's on my heart. The next month and half will be stressful to say the least, I'm praying I pull through. Keep Stellan in y'all's minds... he's still in the hospital and not doing well. Just click here to see MckMama's update on the little guy.

Not Me! Monday

After an uproar from my fans (ok, one) I'm finally doing my Not Me! at 9pm. How nutty. But it's here, I'm here to tell y'all about what I didn't do this past week. Let the games begin!

Last Monday, I did not fly to Chattanooga, excited for a couple days away from a routine of work and school. Yet, penguins, fish, calories, and more calories later, I was back in the groove of life again. Yuck. But, of course, I didn't go back to my girlhood days of Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC. No, not me. Did not reminisce at all... nor did I sing the way along. But it was also on this ride that I found myself crossing to the dark side- listening to some country. Whew baby! Did I like it? Of course not...

On a scale of 1 to 10 on the dedication to school during Spring Break, I don't give myself a 2. Of course I threw myself at the books. Right... thus the consequence being me not going to a library and studying. Mom texted to ask where I was and I told her and in the same message said "don't die reading this."

I didn't just attack a pair of sweatpants with scissors because the elastic was driving me bananas. No, a $12 pair of sweats from Target deserve much respect and love. So since they're now trimmed free of annoying elastic at the leg, they'll be worn more. Much better :)

I did not get grossed out to no end tonight watching some creepy bug movie in biology. EWW. I'll never look at my clothes, sheets, all things without knowing there's bugs around me. YUCK.

There's my list of things that I didn't do this week. I really need to start writing these down earlier so I don't have to rack and rack my brain on Mondays. It'd help me. A ton.

Happy Monday :) or Tuesday...

I dedicate this blog to Z. You're welcome.

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On a more serious note, you'll notice I didn't link to MckMama this week. Stellan's in the hospital with tachycardia, so keep them in your thoughts and prayers. ♥

I Think M was Meant to be a Penguin

Ok, it's finally here. The Spring Break '09 review for my nosies. It's been interesting so far. Maybe y'all have seen my video, I don't know, but that was a glimpse into my week. I drove up to Chattanooga Monday (beat the family) and we didn't do anything seeing as my family's no fun we didn't have energy. I was still getting acclimated to the time difference- let me tell you, you know I'm trying to deal with springing forward, let's just throw Eastern time on this Central girl, ok? Anyway.
So after much deliberation, we (we as in my family) went to the aquarium on Tuesday. We're official members of the Tennessee Aquarium, also, but the fun part of that will soon follow a couple paragraphs down. All that M wanted to see was the macaroni penguins. That's all he wanted. We brainwashed him to let us spike his hair so he'd look like one (and he fell for it) but we had no idea the entire way through the river exhibit we'd hear "when will we see the macaroni? Mom, I want to see the macaroni!" This is the part where I think he's meant to be a penguin comes in... it was like we were going to see his relatives or something. The penguins cracked me up, they're a very curious species, so when they see a camera, they stay there. The best subjects I've ever photographed! One of the waddlers is a big troublemaker curious fellow and he opened the door that the caretaker comes through to let them in, feed them, etc. It was hilarious. Then his buddies started to play with the flapping weatherstripping (I'm assuming they believed it to be an anchovie or some sort of fish.) That was even better.

Anyway, we saw the blessed penguins, much to my brother's pleasure. We also learned that he is as tall as an emperor penguin (he thought that was oh so cool.) Of course we had to go to Clumpie's. I was very depressed that they didn't have my lemon ice cream. Not like I craved this all day... nope. I had to settle for strawberry (I'm so original.) But I did finally buy a shirt from there because I wanted one last time I went, but a certain ex kept saying I didn't need one. Who needs him?! So I bought one, and I like it. The bridge came next, but H and I were so exhausted we went back to the carousel. I haven't been on one of those in a while, you could tell by the way that I was holding on for dear life. Oh, by the way, the bonus of being a family of the aquarium is you get 10% off your gift shop purchases. My shirt is the black one (it's totally my sense of humor) and the blue one is my mom's.

I think that was all the adventures... oh wait, there was the waiter at the Mexican place we went to that had 5 different accents all combined into one. Not even kidding. We learned he was from New Orleans, moved to NYC, then 3 different European countries. Yeah, that explained it. He was very pretty, mom tried hooking us up by taking his picture, I was mortified, you can finish the story.

I think that sums of Chattanooga... I failed to mention the part where I listened to Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC in the car. It was that or country (which I listened to for 20 minutes before I felt like I was going to die.) Suggestion for the Dept. of Defense: torture those at Guantanamo with country music. They'll confess big time. I mean, I liked some of it, just not all of it.

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In other news, I found out Jason's is giving me a 50 cent raise. So all decisions I had regarding my work environment were completely thrown off. Much contemplation is going on in my poor head; they made me talk about problems I was having that I kept bottled inside because I felt that no one would care. Which made me glad, because they do care.

The Aquarium

Here's a slight teaser to the adventures of Chattanooga. I don't have time to sit down and write yet, so enjoy :)

P.S. I got tons of pictures :)

Not Me! Monday

Alleluia, it's Monday. While some are slaving away making money, I'm at home looking the dreary rain, drinking coffee, and cuddling with my amazing pink blanket.

Of course on Mondays, we all know that means Not Me! Monday. Well, at least for those of us who stalk follow MckMama do. So if y'all want to become a Wolverine, by all means, go to her Not Me! Monday. Now, for my week's summary.

I did (not) get excited when my co-worker told me there's a way to put your Facebook in Pirate language. It made me laugh so hard because who on earth would think up something like that? Who would make the time to put in "arrgh" and "matey" instead of "friend' and what not? Oh yeah, people who like coding. Obviously, not people like me.

I did (not) want to go off on Mr. Stand Up when I saw on his Facebook he's in a relationship. While, I'm not interested in him, it gets sort of irritating when you find out you were played. All self-esteem goes down a drain to never be seen again. But let me tell y'all, he definitely has a type. Blonde, blue eyed, and petite. He's an a--hole. Thankfully, though, I have (not) accepted he's a childish human being, womanizer, and worthy of getting the boot from my friends list. Ahem.

I was (not) sad that Mr. Creeper didn't come in to Jason's this week. Well if he did, he came when I wasn't there. I was (not) disappointed that I had no one to mock up. Well, I did (there are plenty of elderlies around who forget their cups and numbers) but it wasn't what I wanted. Am I mean or what?

I did (not) declare to Zach that I will no longer paint my nails because they're chipped within 2 hours for him to reply "yeah right." Well, I don't remember his exact wording, but it was along those lines for sure. But it's true, I got a manicure last Monday, but by the time Biology rolled around, there was missing paint and I was very mad. I mean, I was (not) mad. Sorry.

I am (not) mulling the possibility of leaving Jason's and going to a deli in town to work with my old management from McAlister's because they're dangling more money in my face (and are really desperate, apparently.) Well that and the fact that my current management is (not) driving me up a wall right now, along with the fact that they can't respect my availabilty... I might've mentioned this, I seem to be getting a case of deja vu.

Anyhoo, I'm off to pack up and head out to Chattanooga (yay!) Hope y'all have a good week!

Lazy Sundays

My Sundays are so unpredictable these days. For the first time in a few months, I've gone to two services in a row. Since I'm actually not used to it anymore, I get ADD by the time the sermon rolls around (how awful.) But I've had all afternoon off, at least until 4:30- I'm due at the Deli at 5.

I'm thinking Huntsville needs to liven up a bit. Take a few lessons from the neighbors Nashville and Chattanooga that are both up the road. This town's boring. Sure, we have Bridge Street, but that place can only entertain so many times before you're either bored or out of money. But there's no aquariums, cute ice cream places, zoos, or fun riverwalks. Nope, not Huntsville. We're lucky to have an art museum, though.

So, to get myself out of this boring town, I'm hitting the road to Chattanooga tomorrow with the family. What we'll do, I don't know. We better hit Clumpie's though. And don't worry, I'll get plenty of pictures just to share with you guys :) Trust me, with a 7 year old and 5 old, it's possible.

I said it would never happen

but we should know that one should never say never, right?

It's true- I've started listening to some country. I used to say "YUCK" to it, but I give. The local stations are either too skanky or too commercial-y. So lately, I might've started listening to the country station. Might have. It's my secret. Shhh.

I love the Top 40, but I can only handle so many commercials about weight loss and Sammy T's parties this weekend. The rap station's get skanky... or maybe it's always been like that and I'm just figuring this out. Could be both. Darn that Eminem.

So Taylor Swift and I have been getting along very well these days. Oh so well.

In other news, the Guatamalan is very creepy these days. I think blocking me in the walk in was a very risky thing for him to do yesterday. I could've hit him with some fresh produce or something; or the 4 boxes of cheesecake I was carrying. The cheesecake that looked so divine. Man, now I want some Key Lime Cheesecake. Ratatouille. I have a major sweet tooth lately, more than the usual. Help!

This has been a very ADD post brought to you by yours truly. I had fans of mine fighting for a new post. Apparently they think I'm "sick." ♥

Icky, Yucky, Me No Likey

The title popped in my head and stuck- it's very original, I think :D

I have a Guatemalan co-worker who keeps professing his love to me. I used to think it was funny, now it's just plan annoying! See at first, he kept saying what sounded like "taquiero" and I was very confused why he was calling me a taco place. Then it hit me- he was saying "te quiero", which translates into "I want you" for you non-Spanish understanding people (which I suggest getting on fast seeing how the border situation is fragile right now.) The next day he said, "how old are you?" I said"almost 20" trying to scare him because the kid's 16- my plan didn't work; he was then saying, "I don't care how old you are." I replied, "Maximino, here in America that's illegal." Almost like you, I wanted to add. But I didn't, because he is legal. I think... So he went on vacation last week. He's back now. And today, first thing, he announced to me, "I still love you." UGH! Normally it'd make me warm and fuzzy, but it just doesn't. It's cute, just not warm and fuzzy.
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I'm becoming addicted to The Office. Officially. I see all these Dunder Mifflin shirts that I want. Or things that imply Dwight's crazy antics. What I'd give for one of them. The Office is a show unto it's own, that's all I can say. Same for American Idol. Anyone see it last night? The Michael Jackson theme scared me, for sure. Anoop did BAD. I mean, bad. Whenever I watch him, I feel very awkward because he's so awkward. Last week he was grinding the mic pole, this week he was jumping all over doing a disgrace to "Beat It." But Danny Gokey. I love that man. He's so cute and adorable. Yes, he got my sympathy when he said he was widower in the auditions, but he's handsome and goofy, which I love in a guy.

Calm down, y'all, I'm not going to go marry him. I have a Guatamalan to deal with right now.

Arranged Marriages

It's no wonder that way, I mean way, back then there was a term you very rarely hear today (well, in our society, and if you say it everything goes quiet)- you know the term I am talking about. The term only royal courts and Muslims way far away use(d)- arranged marriages. In case y'all don't know what that means, I wikipedia(d) it: a marriage arranged by someone other than the couple being wed, curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. I can tell you from first hand experience that no wonder there were those things! Seriously.


Interestingly, it's not just Jessica and me who hold this thought- other women I've talked to have said the exact same thing. I was telling a co-worker about my nightmares and she said, "Lauren, I think arranged marriages need to come back around. Only set your children up with other attractive, smart children." Amen, sister. I feel like I'm in an episode of "Sex and the City" when Jessica and I are at dinner venting. If only we had the cosmos to go with the vents...


A year ago, I was in a relationship that made my world happy. I never thought about dating anyone else but him (good thing) and laughed at the horror stories I heard. Until... well, we know the rest of that story, now don't we? So there was a slew of men I talked to/went on a couple dates with, and I can honestly say.... dating life is hell. Well, with a couple swipes of the Plastic here and there. Gosh it's expensive to find that someone.


I've learned that I don't dig the 4 star restaurant-on-the-first-date experience, I prefer coffee instead. When a man introduces you to his family on the third date, get off the train as soon as possible. Fast. Or when they text/call constantly, again, get out. But then there's the other side... the times where they don't call/text when they say they will, fall off the face of the Earth, avoid you on Facebook (oh yeah), etc. And what do women do everytime? We analyze. I analyze. I over-analyze.


No matter how many times we tell our girlfriends, "don't call him!" we know she's going to do it- heck we know that we would do it ourselves. It's a fact. We try to play hard to get and it goes South. Or there's that guy that talks to you when the moon's in the right position, his mind's right, and he feels like talking to you (I've had that,too.)


Dating is a pain in the butt.


So when I saw the trailer for "He's Just Not That Into You" I was filled with glee. Jessica and I never got to see it together, but when I saw the myspace part of the movie- it hit close to home. "Oh honey, that's a bootycall." Not quite but happened, but it was going down that road. Which is when the brakes were hit. But it was right on, and made me think. Of course I thought it out with Jess. That's the only way I think it out, she's my therapist only really super duper cheap.

I don't want a guy who will talk when the weather's right; a guy who will stand me up; a guy who will introduce me to his family too soon; a guy who will do a 180 in the personality department on you; y'all are getting the picture.

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It's a random subject I know, but it was on my mind for reasons that remain unknown. Heaven forbid a subject of the blog read this. Hehe ;)

It's Warm Here!

Spring has arrived! Yes, it's official. It's 10:30 pm and is 69 degrees outside (or so my dashboard on the side of my screen says.) Today I wore a summer dress without my legs freezing to death thanks to our high of 81 degrees- and it was dry too. You don't even know how exciting that was. To be honest, I don't know how I survived winter up in Dayton, Boston, and Virginia for 6+ years. I was getting major cabin fever this winter. A girl can only stand wearing jeans so many times in a week, ya know. No, we weren't crammed in the house due to ice and snow, but I think southern winters are worse. There's no snow, it's cold, grey, and all you see is brown grass. That's it. No color, no blooms... nothing. At least up North snow covered everything.

So yes, the birds were out in full force today. There are blooms everywhere and leaves will come soon enough; the cherry trees look gorgeous... and then... there's the Bradford Pear trees. Those things stink. I mean, stink! I want to throw up when one's around me because it smells so bad. If there's one tree I can't stand- that's it! I mean, it has pretty blooms, don't get me wrong, but it smells. Uck.

But anyway, it's spring and I'm happy. I'm not happy my car will turn yellow very soon or that I'll be sneezing like crazy. But it's warm and I love it. Winter just sucked. Seriously.

But whenever I see a cherry tree, I automatically think of Macon and the Cherry Blossom Festival. Granted I haven't been to one in... 11 years, but I always think of pink cherry ice cream when I see it. Then I think of Callaway Gardens when I see azaleas and butterflies. I guess you could say that the whole nostalgia side of me comes out when I think of Georgia. So when it's spring, I guess y'all can think what I'm thinking about :) Don't get me wrong, Alabama's ok, but Georgia is better.

Not Me! Monday

While many of you are dozing away, I'm here blogging my week's events just for your humor. Of course I didn't do these silly things, psh, who do y'all think you are to think I did them? ... that's what I thought.

• Feeling inspired by all the 3 column blogs out there, I did not take such a task upon my coding illiterate self to make some, er, adjustments to this blog. No, I did not Google how to do such a thing, do it, and blog the event here. No, not I. Because I have a fairy that I wave my wand at and she does the work for me. Hehe. The results left me aggravated and to the point where I almost lost my gorgeous locks of hair (that are screaming for summer because they want to go blonde again) but it all worked out and here it is.

• I did not creep out Mr. Creeper at Jason's again. If you're confused, see last week's blog... or maybe it's the week before. Y'all tell me. I can't remember. And I think I've succeeded in creeping him out. He asked me, "are you sure you remember regular customers' orders?" With a fake smile, I said, " of course." Pervert.

• I did not resist Target this week, leaving me feel accomplished and proud of myself. Well, that's probably because I knew if I went in there, I'd find another dress or more things that I don't need so I'm resisting.

• Oh and last night, while driving home from Gymboree, I did not find myself singing the lyrics to "I Want it That Way" by no other boy band than the Backstreet Boys. I did not gasp when I realized this. For gracious sakes, that was ten years ago. Did I mention it was the Backstreet Boys? For the record, I still say Brian Littrel was the cutest. Ahem, moving on...

• I have not been getting the worst sleep on the planet. In my sleep deprived state, I did not blog yesterday morning about my frustrations and was later informed there was a typo in my blogisode! A typo, y'all! I'm an english junkie and I had a typo. I mean, didn't.

• Yesterday when the siblings and I arrived home from church, I did not let my brother just pack his things up and move his cute little self to the "quiet room." He was mad at our dad for some silly reason, so he was moving from his room to that room. Why? I don't know. He was later kicked out by mom, so he moved to the living room because (prepare yourselves) "that's where the tv is." He is a boy. Among his packed items were: a pillow, Mr. Alligator, his framed pictures of himself, 3 sets of pajamas, 3 sets of underwear, and his blankie. It was so not cute. See picture below.

Hope you guys have a fantastic week. If y'all are wondering where the heck I got the idea to do Not Me! go to MckMama's blog because you'll see why :)

• P.S. I almost forgot- I did not almost break into spanish Friday night when asking one of the babies I was watching what was wrong (immense crying.) No, I did not stop midway when saying que es tu problema?!.... then saying oh my gosh. I guess that is what happens when you work with those from south of the border all day.

And I will find my error since Zach's being a bum and sleeping so he isn't around to inform :P

Time Change

Would someone like to give me a reason I'm up at stupid 4:40 am 5:40 am? It's bad enough we had the time change 2 hours ago, so honestly. I hate my body these days because it refuses like no other to sleep. Sleep is a beautiful thing, and I love it. So why am I not getting it? I'm not even kidding y'all, I just heard the newspaper boy (or girl) throw the paper into the driveway. That's how early it is! Stupid time change. My phone, however, is unaware of the time change (AT&T needs to get on that.) Whoever thought it would be more "economical" to move the time change to November/March needs to know this: My body's thrown off already (I am a freak)... let's just add on a time change, already! Yeah, no problem.

I'm telling y'all, I need Ambien or something. But then I'd really be a freak. I can see it now... someone suggested Tylenol PM. Now that's just pill popping! Tylenol doesn't work on me anyway because it's such a low dosage.

Now it's my luck only that I wake up at this God forsaken hour, when deer aren't even up yet. Yes, it's not like I have Sunday School this morning (at least I don't have to teach.) Or the service, which I will be attending for the first time in month and a half (stupid job, that rant's coming.) Or Gymboree til midnight setting out new line. I think I can fit in a nap today... maybe. I need to do my taxes and put my hand out for money from that stupid person lovely, sweet, caring, fake president. Ok, the government, but still...
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"Now why has Lauren not been to the church service in a month and a half!?!?!?!" is exactly what y'all are thinking, I know it is. I'm asking myself the same question, do not be alarmed. See the reason is work. Jason's Deli (for whatever reason) cannot respect the fact that I prefer to not work on Sundays for religious reasons. I'm pretty sure that's against the law, is it not? Lawsuit! Kidding... Now, I did say I would be willing to work one Sunday a month. Ha. It's been anything but that. So I knew I had to work there tonight, but when working at Gymboree yesterday (and doing $2500 in sales in just 2 hours) I saw that I was supposed to set out new line tonight. Now, I much rather prefer new line for the following reasons: no customer service, I can wear my dang yoga pants, no customer service, don't leave smelling like food, have nice coworkers there, and it's quiet. So I call Jason's and say the following to the general manager (even though I asked for Paul, because he's a sweetie and the following argument wouldn't have happened.)

Me: Bobby, I need to call out for tomorrow night. I have to work at my other job.
Bobby: Why can't you work? They can replace you there, can't they?

Now at this point I'm thinking, funny, I thought you could do the same.

Me: Well, no, see no one can cover for me.
Bobby: Well that's not my problem.

The blood pressure starts going up.

Me: No one can cover for me.
Bobby: Well who's schedule came out first?
Me: Gymboree's.
Bobby: But we put ours out on Wednesday.
Me: Well Gymboree was out first and I haven't been in all week to see this problem.

Now at this point, I wanted to scream. However, I couldn't because for all I knew, the guy was about to fire me. At this point I reminded him...

Me: Bobby, I'm not even supposed to be working tomorrow night because I worked last Sunday. I'm only supposed to be working one Sunday per month.
Bobby: ...Well you're just going to have to talk to Lee about that.

JERK!

Y'all get the big picture. Thankfully Paul came to the rescue and got me covered, but I really don't like that darn Bobby. Rawr.

Ok, I need coffee. Maybe a rugrat's up to keep me company... hmmm...

What's a Girl to Do?

Oh... this title is the Title of the Week. Such an appropriate one.

I heard from Mr. Monday (I've no creative title) yesterday and he had a very valid reason for not showing. I'm not bitter or angry over it, thank goodness. I've too many other things to stress. So no, he wasn't a dog but I did remind him he could've at least let me know that he wasn't coming. But don't expect any relationship changes anytime soon. Again, too many other things going on.

In the meantime, I found these adorable pictures of my diva of a sister on my mom's Facebook. Adorable indeed, just with a little attitude...

My 130th Post

Seeing as this is my 130th post (yes, it is. I'm dumbfounded)I figured I'd find something to blog about, such as my love for Italy and the rest of Europe. Ever since I was about 16, I've wanted to go to Italy. I blame Giada de Laurentiis for this. My constant craving for all things Italian are pointing to her Everyday Italian. That show's never failed me or my tastebuds. Same on the coffee. I love coffee. When I drink it, I think of sitting in a little cafe in Rome with my biscotti in hand. Did I mention I have quite the imagination?

Well the other day I had the crazy idea to go to Google images and just looked at the beauty on my computer screen. I found a picture of Venice and it blew me away. Well, two actually (see below.)

Of course studying the Renaissance in Music isn't helping either. I just sigh when I see an Italian word. One day, I know I'll be there in person. Tanning in Sicily; shopping in Rome; wine tasting in Tuscany and eating my way through that country. One day...

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In other news, I found this on myspace and wanted to die from laughing so hard. It's the opening of The Office episode that aired after the Super Bowl. Try to not die laughing, ok?

The Office - A Lesson on Fire

Procrastination and Men

How weird is it that I would rather blog than write my music test answers out? Not very. I'm feeling very oh so random today. Probably due to my arising at 4:30 this morning because my body is so out-of-whack and needs a really good dose of Ambien these days.


The hottie Michael Buble came on my iTunes earlier and ideas popped in my head on a blogisode. And oh how I mean hottie. I wish I'd gotten a picture of him when I went to see him down in Birmingham last October. Oh man, if I were single back then, I'd find a way to meet him. Italian descent from Canada- yes please! Girls were screaming for him. Screaming! Then there were the old couples who needed a room... Buble was an awesome performer and not shy at all. At first I thought he was drunk because he was so crazy and what not. But there's something about him that makes every woman swoon (at least me.) He knows it,too; he joked with the men they were there for only one reason alone... I gasped when he said what he did. McFormer and all the men cheered it on.... there's a surprise. Anyway! Look at that picture and tell me you could look at it for hours.

So I was thinking (after my fun experiences in the dating world and multiple girl chats): are there any men on this planet, who are not taken, and are nice classy guys?

• not guys who talk to you when the moon's position is just right;


• not guys who stand you up;


• not guys who blow you off;


• and are not arrogant s.o.b.s all around?

I mean, they're out there, but where? Make yourselves known! I have to say, I'm getting an experience that I never knew I'd get. And let me tell you, it's been a rollercoaster ride. I'm laughing writing this though, so it's all good.

Back to my Catholic music now. Yuck.

Holy Moly

Updated: What the heck happened to my followers? They aren't showing up!

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Note: At 12:00 pm- go along with crazy idea to "edit" my love- a.k.a. my blog.

Crazy indeed! What the heck I was thinking, not sure. I'm not positive I was thinking at all, honestly. I googled how to get the 3 columns I've been envying on practically every blog I've read lately. Lordy, there's a reason that when people speak "computer" to me, I look at them blankly. First I tried one tutorial site, then another. Just when I was about to pull out my hair (really I was) or quit altogether, I reread every step. Go me when I saw they edited a word on there and didn't say they edited that word. Idiots. So finally, I got what I was aiming for. Phew.

Of course I had to change background so it was wider, too. Another headache. I loved the one I had before but wanted change. So if anyone was reading while all the changes were going on and you thought, "what the heck is she doing?" now you know. And I know that God wants me to stay away from all things involving codes from now on.

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Ever been stood up before? You'll never guess who got the first stand up of her lifetime... yes, me. It's a long story that I resist indulging on- my blog link is on my Facebook page. Lord knows I don't need him to read a bash on him.. but then again... I won't lie, I was mad. I called Jessica twice last night venting. The second call she almost choked on her grapes and crackers and chocolate because she was laughing so hard. Somehow I got on rant about how Jesus never stood up his disciples. How I got to that part of the rant, I'm not sure. Man I hate the dating life. Hate it.

I need a 10 pound block of chocolate that the Chocolate Crocodile gets. I wonder how much it costs...

Enjoy the new page, y'all ♥

Not Me Monday

Hey y'all :) It's time for the fun therapy of Not Me! Monday. Conceived in the great mind of MckMama, it's time to confess on what I did not do this week. Let the fun begin!

I did not sneak the book Message in a Bottle into my classes this week so that in the event there was a dull/boring moment, I would have something to entertain myself. While some are not serious students who pay attention 100% of the time, I pay full attention.

I did not post the 12 Downfalls to Having Two X-Chromosomes earlier this week in a bout of PMS. Nope, not moi.

In order to cure my major irritation with customers this week, I didn't find pleasure in making fun of them whenever they'd forget something and totally didn't make a game out of it. While I'm at it, I didn't say "what?" to a customer (who came to Jason's 4 days in a row this week) when he was just staring at me. Honestly, it was creepy; I didn't have a chance to put on my filter before it came out of my mouth. Ooops! I also didn't inform the Catholics on Ash Wednesday after their vents about no meat that I'm Protestant. To which they replied, "lucky."

Being desperate for spring like crazy, I didn't get a couple sundresses at Target and start spray on tanning just because I cannot stand being pale and in nothing but jeans. Time for spring and some color! This winter has lasted way too long.

I didn't feel like a kid Sunday morning when the storm that I said wouldn't come/occur, did indeed show up... I woke up to my siblings screaming about snow and took pictures and everything. Snow in North Alabama is a very rare, so the whole regions freaks when there's even a prediction for snow. Yet at the same time, I wanted all the big severe storms that were taking place in my old home, Middle Georgia. I love thunderstorms these days... hated them with a passion 10 years ago.

I sure didn't get super excited watching the Jonas Brothers at the theatre. Definitely didn't sing along the entire time, either. Ha, like I'm crazy enough to do that...

While at the ladies conference Saturday morning, I didn't kill time taking pictures of the centerpiece and get very disappointed in the pictures (therefore I played with them and it came out looking like this picture.) I also didn't get annoyed with people who acted like 4 years olds either. Nor did I tell my mom and her friends the following: that if the speaker was making us do group work, I was out of there; that I wanted to convert to Catholicism just to go to the party that was being set up in the Hall downstairs so I could get some gosh darned chocolate; and finally that I really absolutely needed a Coke. And for the record, I'm not such a coffee snob that I went by one of my local Starbucks on the way to the conference. To which Lisa said that she can tell I'm a junkie because I have my Starbucks in the Huntsville/Decatur area mapped out really well (and it's really true; there's at least 4 in the area; 6 if you count Target and Barnes and Noble; 8 if you count all of the above and the stores in Decatur and Athens.) Oh and this picture does not sum me up. Not one bit.

Finally, I'm not typing this up on a Sunday night just so I can sleep in tomorrow. Ha, nope, Not Me!